Time, Reflection & Love

I strongly dislike the phrase, “Time heals all,” because it doesn’t. Healing comes from within and from personal perspective and desire to change. Without the will to move forward and to learn from what has placed someone at a low, you cannot change, you cannot learn and you certainly cannot feel the true emotion of a high. I think that through time, you find a way to fill the voids, whether they’re temporary, tangible solutions is entirely up to you.

My tennis coach once told me that I can “make a situation an obstacle or an opportunity,” and though it applied to an important tennis match that depended on the outcome of my match (that I was currently losing and felt defeated), it can be applied to any situation. It’s all about perspective. If you constantly see the negative in things, that’s all life will be to you – a negative experience. Whereas if you take a negative experience and try to find one positive thing (a “silver lining,” if you will), that can be the strength and wisdom you hold onto, the one thing to pull you through that negative situation.

For example, I used to view love in a superficial, skeptical perspective. Over the years, I’ve actually come to realize that I’ve always valued the entirety of love and the many faces it presents and that viewing it in such a black and white perspective was merely a reflection of the recent situations I was involved in. About three years ago, I met a man that drastically changed my perspective. Though at the end of the day he ripped every ounce of hope I had for a future filled with love, he left me with an overly cliche that actually was brought to life nearly a year later when I met the love of my life. He said to me, “You’re a beautiful, intelligent young woman and I know that you’re going to find a man who will love you and give you the time and attention you deserve.” Of course, at the time, coming from a teary-eyed, broken hearted point of view, I rolled my eyes and sobbed for two weeks. I dated a couple of guys in between, but about a year later, I met another man that swept me off my feet. He was in a similar yet drastically different situation that allowed us to feel the same emotions and understand each other’s perspectives. I think that’s what truly brought us together. We each bore our truths and in that we found a deep love for each other, we found the desire to fight for each other and to protect each other and to please each other. It was the first time I felt complete. It was the first of many firsts and the feeling of true happiness through that of true love is something I simply cannot put into words. I can simply just say that my boyfriend is the best thing that ever happened to – he is my silver lining.

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